Doherty, Francis A. When the Lights Go Out

A Vietnam US Army Pilot Reflects on his Service and Beyond

In this moving collection of essays, Vietnam War veteran Francis Doherty reflects on life in the face of his own mortality. At the age of twenty-four, the U.S. Army pilot volunteered for covert reconnaissance missions with the SOG (Studies and Observations Group) over the Ho Chi Minh Trail. From the cockpit of a Cessna O-1 Bird Dog, Captain Doherty observed this elusive war, scanning for enemy troop movements or calling in F-4 Phantomswaiting on standbyto strike new targets. This collection of snapshotsspanning his time in Vietnam, his subsequent career as a pilot, and the impact of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) on his relationships after leaving the Armydepicts a conflict that shaped and defined the rest of Franciss life. With remarkable candor, Frank writes about the comrades he saw diewhether on the battlefield or decades later in a hospitalabout the horrors of war, and about his lifelong quest to reconnect and grieve with the men alongside whom he fought. Frank embodies the archetype of the masculine Army veteran, yet he makes no claim whatsoever to being a war hero. He writes at length about the individuals for whose deaths he feels responsiblemen whose faces have haunted him in the years since the war, and increasingly so now as he faces the final years of his own life. Franks openness regarding the deep bonds of male friendship and the painful conversations about grief and PTSD shared with these former comrades offers a point of connection for other men who may feel that their machismo limits their ability to express emotion or vulnerability. Frank addresses his readers in direct, clipped prose; He speaks as an officer, not as a poet. And yet, "When the Lights Go Out" is just as poetic, moving, and compelling as it is humorous and intimate.